Best investment I ever made...

I talk to my Parents every Sunday night. Obvious subject of conversation yesterday was the weather. Yesterday was my first serious snow since I've moved to Oregon. And the temperature has been appropriatly cold to go along with it.

Luckily, my apartment is small, so heating it isn't a horrendous burden (I say now, before I start getting my real winter electric bills). But, of course, they asked how I manage to keep warm at night.

"Simple," I tell them. "I invested in mammals."

You try being cold when you have a sumatran rat monkey curled up under the covers with you, not to mention two medium haired kittens curled up under your chin. I'm glad I invested when I did.

Thank you, J Jacques!

Sometimes I don't know what I would do without Questionable Content.

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=774

Seriously, I told my friends that going forward, I'm off the market because I'm tired of dating. From their reactions you would have thought I said I'm going to start kicking puppies in my spare time.

Wicked

"So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky.

As someone told me lately

Everyone deserves the chance to fly.

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free.

To those who ground me,

Take a message back from me.

Tell them how I'm defying gravity,

I'm flying high, defying gravity."

-Stephen Schwartz

Yeah, I'm going to be okay.

How far gone?

So, I met someone new a few weeks ago.  We spent about a month talking on line, by phone and by text message.

At first I wasn't sure about this guy, but the more we communicated the more I could see how much we had in common, and how much fun we could have together if we met in person.

So we met for dinner downtown about a week and half ago.  It was a great evening.  Dinner, dessert, drinks afterwards, lots of conversation and getting to know each other.  And we made plans to get together then next Sunday.

Talking the day after our date, we decided to get together for dinner on Saturday night too because there was a restaurant I knew of that I thought he'd like.  We had another great night, just hanging out, talking and enjoying each others' company.

Sunday morning he text'd me to say he couldn't make it for our plans that afternoon.  No problem, I was kind of tired and could use a day without any plans, so we decided to get together the next weekend instead, and maybe cook dinner together sometime during the week.  He must really like me, huh?

Turns out things weren't going as well as I thought.  On Thursday he e-mailed me to say he's been hanging out with his ex, and that with the weather getting colder he's not up to going out a lot, so he wished me well in finding someone else.  What I find funny is the fact that I already knew what was going to happen.  I could recognize a pattern that occurs in my life fairly often, and I knew that no matter how well everything had gone up to that point, that he wasn't as into me as I had hoped for.

So, at what point can you say that someone has broken up with you?  Do you have to be officially boy/girlfriend?  Seeing each other exclusively?  Or can it just be when you find someone that you're so comfortable with and attracted to that you can see having a future together, and finding out he doesn't feel the same?  

Thought for the day...

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1274

Feline Olympics

Suffice it to say, yesterday was not a good day. For various reasons, when I got home all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with my beasts and watch disc 1 of Eli Stone.

Well, the kittens still haven't figured out where their box is now, even though I've shown them several times where I moved it to. So before I got to curl up on the couch I spent time cleaning the floor.

Then, as I was almost done with the first episode of ES, my television turned off. I checked all the wire, connections, plugs, and still, no power. Worse...since it's a television/dvd combination, I couldn't even get the dvd out of the player to watch it on my computer.

At that point Levi started trying to climb up whatever bare skin he could find on me. I would have shotputted him at the television. For animal cruelty reasons, it's a good thing I was too lazy to make the effort.

And I hadn't even been drinking...

So, last night I had a dream that I was at work, studying for my life insurance exam on-line (yeah, who would have thought that?).

Here's the twist...instead of reading info off the website, the info was in the guise of a horror movie. So, I guess the point was to not only watch stupid teenagers get hacked to pieces by a derranged killer, but to watch the survivors collect the death benefits. Novel idea, no?

Anyway, true to form, watching this "movie" started to freak me out, so I paused it. At that point, my boss walked out, saw what was paused on my monitor, and started up the movie again while gleefully saying, "Great! Here's where they find his decapitated head!"

Kudzu is part of Obama Nation!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jll5baCAaQU

There's a frickin' shock

I came up as an Intellectual...

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/how-will-you-survive-a-horror-film-test

I must get it from somewhere...

I was reminiscing about 80's movies earlier today. Specifically, watching The Karate Kid in the theatre with my parents.

You all remember the triumph scene, right? Ralph Macchio crane kicks the hell out of William Zabka, winning the championship in the process. As good ole Ralph celebrates with Mr. Miyagi, poor William realizes that his evil dojo master is the losing horse after all, and with tears in his eyes, congratulates and hugs our Karate Kid.

And in the middle of this touching melodrama, my mother yells out (as if Ralph can hear her), "Kick him in the face!"

Similarly, last year after we watched Pan's Labyrinth she told us her favorite part of the movie was when the maid, who was actually working with the rebels, tells the Captain that his son will never even know his (the Captain's) name.

Which makes me wonder...how did my Mom get such amusing anger issues in dealing with fiction?

Rest in Peace, My Pretty Pony...

This is my favorite photo of My Pretty Pony, otherwise known as Cesar. He was an English Mastiff, 200 lbs and 9 years old.

His Mom had to call an emergency transport service on Sunday morning to take him to the vet, where it was decided that the humane thing to do would be to put him to sleep.

I'll miss him horribly, but I'm sure his parents will miss him more.

Sleep sweet, big guy, and I hope heaven is full of all the doggy treats you could want.

Fight Slurkiness!!!

I was driving home the other day and in a bit of a mood. While I was stuck on the on ramp, out of the corner of my eye I saw a movement. When I looked, it was a little girl in the minivan next to me, waving hello.

I waved to her and smiled. She smiled back. And just like that, my slurky mood was gone. It was just that easy.

I often wonder why people don't bother to make the world happier. I'm not talking about a curing cancer or ending world hunger type of happier. I mean the easy things.

Holding a door open for someone with their arms full.

Letting people merge into your lane on the freeway.

Thanking people who show you kindness.

Or, we can all revert back to children and wave at drivers on the freeway, just to see them smile.

On Being a Gatekeeper Dragon...

A friend of mine and I were talking about what it's like to be front office staff. Technically, while my job title is Paraplanner, because I sit at the big desk in the lobby, most people coming in think of me as the receptionist.

Anyway, my friend had mentioned to her boss that she feels part of her job is getting a read on applicants coming in for interviews. Her boss didn't agree, which is odd to me.

Back in the old days, I was front office staff for an employment agency. The Account Executives counted on me to give them my first impression as far as how the applicants presented themselves and what kind of environment I could see them working in. Another of my important tasks was to make sure the AE's knew how the applicant's name was pronounced. It may seem trivial, but it truly helped the AE's not feel like an assjack on meeting the applicant's for the first time.

People, give your front office staff the respect they deserve. If you have a competent one, who greets clients with a smile, who gets calls transferred to the right person, and makes your office run smoother, please realize you've got a gem and enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Go Cliff Claven!

Many moons ago, my best friend (who happens to be my now ex-husband, how wierd is that?) asked me, "If you were on Jeopardy, what would your six Cliff Claven categories be?"

After years of pondering, I think I've come up with answers.

1- The Simpsons
2- Urban Legends
3- Dog Breeds
4- Nicolas Cage Movies
5- Potent Potables
6- Mysteries in British Literature

Dear Gods, sometimes even I wonder why I spend the time thinking these things through.

Quote for the day...

"Settling for second best is for the Olympics, not relationships."

Actually, I don't think anyone in the Olympics "settles" for second best. I believe that you don't lose the Gold. you win the Silver.

Typical for who?

Ok, I had one of my patented ass-jacked dreams last night. This one was a combination of my high school drill team, a military base blowing up, looking up addresses on the internet, 9/11, and Freddy Krueger being my chauffeur. You know, typical fodder for my subconcious.

What the hell am I doing that makes me think these dreams are typical?

Die, James Blunt, Die!!!

My title would be more vehement, but anyone who uses more than three exclamation points after a sentence is clearly more insane than I choose to be.

Stupid You're Beautiful song. It's been almost three years, why is it still torturing me? Think about these lyrics-

My life is brilliant (well, we obviously know he's modest...NOT)
She was with another man...but I've got a plan (what plan is that? he figures he'll never see her again or make any attempt to talk to her. IDIOT!)
We shared a moment that will last 'til the end (ok, moment's over, ended, GIVE IT UP!)

I swear to Gods, that song makes me want to barf like a chicken.

The Creature...

This is Kudzu...

About the name - kudzu is a vine that was imported to the US to stop land erosion.  Most people know it as an annoying weed that gets into everything, smothers all it comes into contact with, needs constant attention and supervision and is infuriating as hell.  If you've met my creature, you'll understand the name. 

When I adopted him the animal shelter assured me he's a chihuahua mix, but I think he looks like a giant sewer rat.  That's all a matter of opinion, though.

Does he look mostly look like he's come to warn Mr. Harry Potter?

Or, does he look like an unholy union of plague rats and tree monkeys?  (Watch out, his bite will make you a zombie.)

I've also known people who say that he looks like Mr. Burns (excellent...). 

When he's excited, he makes a noise that sounds like a tonton from Star Wars, but he usually sounds like an average grunty beast.

Anyway, he's my four legged child and I love him dearly.  Although I do tell him the only reason I love him is because that was one of the conditions I agreed to when I adopted him.  And it's pretty worth it since I get to come home every night to a cuddly beast that adores me unconditionally.

Amusingly limited...

I've been accused (and deservedly so) of being cinelinguistic. In other words, while I cannot go an hour, let alone a day, without quoting music lyrics or Simpson's tidbits, my main source of quotables comes from movie dialogue.

Anyway, that makes me wonder...what else from movies could I corrupt for my own life purposes? Wouldn't a day to day soundtrack be great?

Keep in mind, I don't mean a soundtrack in the sense that all my high school ex-boyfriends think of Don't Go Away Mad when they remember me. Nor am I talking about the fact that I like to play Moby's version of Verb when I'm speeding along in my car.

This is what I want - if I'm sick of the drama brought on by others, wouldn't it be good to hear something like I am a Rock? If I'm hanging with my friends doing nothing in particular but enjoying it immensely, I want happy cheery music going on behind the scenes (think Sunshine and Lollipops).

And yes, if I take Kudzu for a walk late at night, somebody could always warn me about the axe murderer possibly lurking in the shadows, waiting for an unsuspecting victim, but wouldn't it be more fun to open the front door and hear the theme from Halloween?

Can anyone else think of other situation/music pairings for my impending soundtrack?