Thursday, September 25, 2008

Fight Slurkiness!!!

I was driving home the other day and in a bit of a mood. While I was stuck on the on ramp, out of the corner of my eye I saw a movement. When I looked, it was a little girl in the minivan next to me, waving hello.

I waved to her and smiled. She smiled back. And just like that, my slurky mood was gone. It was just that easy.

I often wonder why people don't bother to make the world happier. I'm not talking about a curing cancer or ending world hunger type of happier. I mean the easy things.

Holding a door open for someone with their arms full.

Letting people merge into your lane on the freeway.

Thanking people who show you kindness.

Or, we can all revert back to children and wave at drivers on the freeway, just to see them smile.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

On Being a Gatekeeper Dragon...

A friend of mine and I were talking about what it's like to be front office staff. Technically, while my job title is Paraplanner, because I sit at the big desk in the lobby, most people coming in think of me as the receptionist.

Anyway, my friend had mentioned to her boss that she feels part of her job is getting a read on applicants coming in for interviews. Her boss didn't agree, which is odd to me.

Back in the old days, I was front office staff for an employment agency. The Account Executives counted on me to give them my first impression as far as how the applicants presented themselves and what kind of environment I could see them working in. Another of my important tasks was to make sure the AE's knew how the applicant's name was pronounced. It may seem trivial, but it truly helped the AE's not feel like an assjack on meeting the applicant's for the first time.

People, give your front office staff the respect they deserve. If you have a competent one, who greets clients with a smile, who gets calls transferred to the right person, and makes your office run smoother, please realize you've got a gem and enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Go Cliff Claven!

Many moons ago, my best friend (who happens to be my now ex-husband, how wierd is that?) asked me, "If you were on Jeopardy, what would your six Cliff Claven categories be?"

After years of pondering, I think I've come up with answers.

1- The Simpsons
2- Urban Legends
3- Dog Breeds
4- Nicolas Cage Movies
5- Potent Potables
6- Mysteries in British Literature

Dear Gods, sometimes even I wonder why I spend the time thinking these things through.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Quote for the day...

"Settling for second best is for the Olympics, not relationships."

Actually, I don't think anyone in the Olympics "settles" for second best. I believe that you don't lose the Gold. you win the Silver.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Typical for who?

Ok, I had one of my patented ass-jacked dreams last night. This one was a combination of my high school drill team, a military base blowing up, looking up addresses on the internet, 9/11, and Freddy Krueger being my chauffeur. You know, typical fodder for my subconcious.

What the hell am I doing that makes me think these dreams are typical?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Die, James Blunt, Die!!!

My title would be more vehement, but anyone who uses more than three exclamation points after a sentence is clearly more insane than I choose to be.

Stupid You're Beautiful song. It's been almost three years, why is it still torturing me? Think about these lyrics-

My life is brilliant (well, we obviously know he's modest...NOT)
She was with another man...but I've got a plan (what plan is that? he figures he'll never see her again or make any attempt to talk to her. IDIOT!)
We shared a moment that will last 'til the end (ok, moment's over, ended, GIVE IT UP!)

I swear to Gods, that song makes me want to barf like a chicken.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Creature...

This is Kudzu...

About the name - kudzu is a vine that was imported to the US to stop land erosion.  Most people know it as an annoying weed that gets into everything, smothers all it comes into contact with, needs constant attention and supervision and is infuriating as hell.  If you've met my creature, you'll understand the name. 

When I adopted him the animal shelter assured me he's a chihuahua mix, but I think he looks like a giant sewer rat.  That's all a matter of opinion, though.

Does he look mostly look like he's come to warn Mr. Harry Potter?

Or, does he look like an unholy union of plague rats and tree monkeys?  (Watch out, his bite will make you a zombie.)

I've also known people who say that he looks like Mr. Burns (excellent...). 

When he's excited, he makes a noise that sounds like a tonton from Star Wars, but he usually sounds like an average grunty beast.

Anyway, he's my four legged child and I love him dearly.  Although I do tell him the only reason I love him is because that was one of the conditions I agreed to when I adopted him.  And it's pretty worth it since I get to come home every night to a cuddly beast that adores me unconditionally.


Amusingly limited...

I've been accused (and deservedly so) of being cinelinguistic. In other words, while I cannot go an hour, let alone a day, without quoting music lyrics or Simpson's tidbits, my main source of quotables comes from movie dialogue.

Anyway, that makes me wonder...what else from movies could I corrupt for my own life purposes? Wouldn't a day to day soundtrack be great?

Keep in mind, I don't mean a soundtrack in the sense that all my high school ex-boyfriends think of Don't Go Away Mad when they remember me. Nor am I talking about the fact that I like to play Moby's version of Verb when I'm speeding along in my car.

This is what I want - if I'm sick of the drama brought on by others, wouldn't it be good to hear something like I am a Rock? If I'm hanging with my friends doing nothing in particular but enjoying it immensely, I want happy cheery music going on behind the scenes (think Sunshine and Lollipops).

And yes, if I take Kudzu for a walk late at night, somebody could always warn me about the axe murderer possibly lurking in the shadows, waiting for an unsuspecting victim, but wouldn't it be more fun to open the front door and hear the theme from Halloween?

Can anyone else think of other situation/music pairings for my impending soundtrack?