September 10, 2001

Nine years ago today, I got home and got a phone call from a girlfriend of mine. She and her husband were fighting and she was upset. She wanted to know if worse came to worse, could she stay at my house? I told her of course she could.

Then I called another girlfriend of mine to tell her how down I was feeling. She proceeded to unload all of her problems on me, and I ended up not having a chance to vent.

By the time Marc got home that night I was almost in tears feeling overwhelmed at all the drama that had been foisted on me. Luckily, the first half of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" was on that night and I got the chance to laugh.

Of course, the next morning none of that mattered anymore. The world I knew, the New York I had just explored that winter was changed forever.

I hope I never forget the horror of that day. Remembering what we went through that day is a constant reminder to live a responsible fulfilling life, to make up for the lives that were lost.

How far gone?

So, I met someone new a few weeks ago.  We spent about a month talking on line, by phone and by text message.

At first I wasn't sure about this guy, but the more we communicated the more I could see how much we had in common, and how much fun we could have together if we met in person.

So we met for dinner downtown about a week and half ago.  It was a great evening.  Dinner, dessert, drinks afterwards, lots of conversation and getting to know each other.  And we made plans to get together then next Sunday.

Talking the day after our date, we decided to get together for dinner on Saturday night too because there was a restaurant I knew of that I thought he'd like.  We had another great night, just hanging out, talking and enjoying each others' company.

Sunday morning he text'd me to say he couldn't make it for our plans that afternoon.  No problem, I was kind of tired and could use a day without any plans, so we decided to get together the next weekend instead, and maybe cook dinner together sometime during the week.  He must really like me, huh?

Turns out things weren't going as well as I thought.  On Thursday he e-mailed me to say he's been hanging out with his ex, and that with the weather getting colder he's not up to going out a lot, so he wished me well in finding someone else.  What I find funny is the fact that I already knew what was going to happen.  I could recognize a pattern that occurs in my life fairly often, and I knew that no matter how well everything had gone up to that point, that he wasn't as into me as I had hoped for.

So, at what point can you say that someone has broken up with you?  Do you have to be officially boy/girlfriend?  Seeing each other exclusively?  Or can it just be when you find someone that you're so comfortable with and attracted to that you can see having a future together, and finding out he doesn't feel the same?  

Rest in Peace, My Pretty Pony...

This is my favorite photo of My Pretty Pony, otherwise known as Cesar. He was an English Mastiff, 200 lbs and 9 years old.

His Mom had to call an emergency transport service on Sunday morning to take him to the vet, where it was decided that the humane thing to do would be to put him to sleep.

I'll miss him horribly, but I'm sure his parents will miss him more.

Sleep sweet, big guy, and I hope heaven is full of all the doggy treats you could want.